Breastfeeding

Politics. Religion. Breastfeeding. Three topics never to be discussed in a group. Ha maybe not breastfeeding but as of lately in my life it has come up a lot. Even before I was pregnant with Sloane, I nannied for a mom would breastfed for a year so I was well aware of what to possibly expect. I was also aware of just how special breastfeeding was between mother and baby, and after watching this bond between the two of them I grew even more biased towards breastfeeding. (Side note: this is my opinion and many might not agree with what I say, I don't judge those who haven't breastfed or decided against it, I just have a very strong view on why you should).

I was breastfed, and if you know my mom she also has strong opinions :) so when I was pregnant with Sloane, she told me I would breastfeed. (Yes she told me, didn't ask :)). At that point I didn't really have a strong view on whether or not so I just agreed to it and felt that I should. So there I was, whenever someone would ask, "Are you planning on breastfeeding" I'd say yes, but I didn't really know why it was so important. I had been around babies that I had to make formula for just as much as I had been around breastfed babies, and didn't really realize how intense I would get one day about breastfeeding my own children. It wasn't until Sloane was born. As soon as they whisked her away to NICU one nurse asked are you going to breastfeed? I said yes of course and she said that they would start to have me pump immediately. Unfortunately I didn't get to pump or give Sloane any of my milk, however that didn't mean my body understood that my baby had died so my milk supply came in, three days later right in time for Sloane's funeral. I was upstairs and had finally decided to take a shower following her birth (I was not wanting to clean off her "smell" from my body) and was standing in front of the mirror crying. I no longer had my round baby belly, but instead I had these two ginormous boobs, rock hard, leaking milk. And they wouldn't stop. Every time I cried my boobs leaked which was a lot so it was difficult to get what was happening under control. Instead of being able to give my daughter exactly what she would have needed I was trying to figure out how to stop it, and hide them because it was just another kick in the face. My baby had died and my body thought when I cried that it was my baby. After taking about 2 weeks for my supply to dry up I didn't think about it again until of course we became pregnant. That's when I knew 100% that I would breastfeed this baby. I saw what my body was capable of, I saw what I could have given Sloane and it was without a doubt in my mind that I would breastfeed this baby and give her what Sloane couldn't have. Unless of course some how my nipples fall off or this baby is born prematurely and we have to plan otherwise. I should add my birth plan ideas are what I call them. At this moment we cannot really have a plan, so much can happen and I would hate to have anything in my head and it go into it and have nothing go my way. Which I learned the hard way.

I have been able to talk openly with one of my friends about my feelings towards breastfeeding and I have been so LUCKY to get so much information from her. I feel its so important to learn everything you can, what to expect, what not to expect. Just knowing that anything can happen and it will and being given all this information ahead of time I am very thankful. I know it could go two ways, my baby latches immediately and my milk supply comes in easy, or none of that happens and it will take time and a lot of patience. It is good to have those around you on board with your breastfeeding plan, and I have already mentioned to Marty that he by no means can ever allow me to take the easy way out by purchasing formula. I will be breastfeeding no matter how difficult it might be for me, I am a fighter and have had to be extra strong lately so I know we can do it. My friend found this article and sent it to me last week, and I have to warn mamas out there that may read it, it will make you cry. It is an article in the eyes of a baby, and just puts everything into perspective, from their view. Well there it is, my loud opinion on breastfeeding! Enjoy the article because I have already read it about 5 times :)

The Leaky Boob